Spring, sunshine & serotonin

Yesterday my son stayed home from school with a cold. He recovered enough to play outside by early afternoon, and we spent a good chunk of time tossing ratty splat balls, aka, muddy tennis balls chewed up by Alice, into an old plastic trash bin in the backyard (and if that makes it sound like my backyard looks like a redneck yacht club, well...).

In the midst of our game, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. C! C! Look! It's a butterfly!!! We ran to the fence as it fluttered into the neighbor's yard. I grasped C by both arms and looked him directly in the eyes to emphasize the gravity of the event: C! This is amazing! We just saw our Very First Butterfly! That means spring is really coming! I couldn't get a good photo -- the butterfly was too fast and too far away by that point -- but we watched it for a while before returning to our game. Later, I googled "dark butterfly, yellow edge, early spring, Northern New England." I confirmed with a botanist friend at school pick-up that we most likely saw a mourning cloak.

With more online research and the help of an entry in Tom Murray's Insects of New England & New York, from which the above photo was snapped, I learned that mourning cloak butterflies are one of only eight species that overwinter as adults in Maine. They're able to survive cold temperatures by "reduc[ing] the amount of water in their blood ... and thicken[ing] it with glycerol, sorbitol, or other antifreeze agents." https://green-weaver.com/mourning-cloaks-the-butterflies-that-spend-winters-in/

I also learned there are different types of ways that animals go dormant in the winter: hibernation, for warm-blooded animals like bears, and brumation for cold-blooded animals like snakes. https://nature.discoveryplace.org/blog/ask-a-naturalist-hibernation-vs.-brumation-vs.-estivation I have not done a ton of research, but I'm guessing that because butterflies are ectothermic like snakes, the mourning cloak brumates rather than hibernates. In any event, these guys are tough and can apparently survive negative eighty-degree temperature.

If I had a choice, would I hibernate? While I find fall leaves beautiful and love a good blizzard or a huge thunderstorm, I hate being cold. 85+ degrees and bright sun are my jam. Even though I live in a northern climate now, for a number of years I lived in locales where the temperature regularly got in the upper 90's or low 100's, and it was amazing. I never once got sick of bright, sunny, hot weather. I remember moving giant boxes from one dorm to another during college while the temperature was safely above the 100's. I loved every second of it. I ran in the desert foothills that bordered my college town often and hiked the arid forests nearby with friends. I still remember the smell of the manzanita trees and the cool bark of the refrigerator, or madrone, trees.

Sunshine is like a drug to me, and indeed, there are studies that show a link between sun and serotonin. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3779905/ I check the weather almost every night, regardless of the calendar, because I need to mentally prepare myself for potentially cloudy weather. In Alaska I remember learning that many of my clients (I represented indigent and mentally ill adults) exhibited increased mania during the summer's long days. It's not a huge leap to conclude that my history of anxiety and depression, the SSRI I take, and the way I crave sunshine are linked. Even though I never once used a tanning bed in high school, when I lived in Alaska I slapped on some sunscreen and my shades and popped into one of those heated coffins on more than one occasion. As one of the local judges said, depression is just as dangerous as skin cancer.

But would I hibernate? Very tempting. Probably not, because hot coffee, my electric fireplace, and a good book are also some of my favorite things. Plus I'd miss the memories I make in the winter with my friends and family. But seeing the mourning cloak yesterday and the white crocuses in our garden, ready to open, made me giddy with hope. My favorite time of year is coming.