Strep Throat & Gratitude

To me the small things are significant. Earlier, I noted how articulate C was in telling me about his fight with B yesterday, and how smooth our recovery went.

Today, C woke up complaining about a sore throat. There is an extra layer of examination I go through when my son is sick:

Mental checklist for when my child is sick, aka the 10-Point Inspection

1. Does he have a temperature? Who the hell knows. Does anyone's forehead thermometer actually work?

2. Is this because he's not a morning person, like his dad, or or is he legitimately sick?

3. Is this related to an emotional incident that is manifesting as resistance to going to school?

4. If I'm pretty sure he's sick, but not 100%, then maybe I should let him stay home but should enforce the no screen-time rule so as not to encourage truancy. It's important to reinforce how boring being sick is. But let's be honest, then I will have to entertain him. And also, if he really is sick, isn't it a dick move to withhold tv?

5. I need to email the school. The tone needs to be exactly right, so that I don't get pushback from the nurse (You said he had a temperature? Why is back at school before being fever-free for 24 hours?) and criticism from the IEP team next week? (You know, it's really important to make sure you're encouraging C to go to school. You don't want to let him "get his way" if he just needs the consistency. Maybe he's manipulating you. Fuck you, this isn't Ferris Beuller's Day Off.).

6. If we're staying home and I'm sincere about setting the right example, then we definitely should go into the clinic. Which I don't want to do, especially if it's just allergies.

7. What if we tried to go to school later in the morning?

8. Oh, but remember his behavioral pediatrician said it was ok to trust C when he says he's sick? The whole point of my own journey is self-trust, so shouldn't I practice that with C, especially now that he's regulated?

9. Can I get him to take ibuprofen? If he resists, how hard should I push?

10. Is it wrong that I want him to go to school for my own sanity? That shouldn't be a factor, and yet....

This mental exercise needs to be completed in 4.5 minutes before I drop off my oldest child at school.

Gentle reader, he stayed home, he took the ibuprofen, I read him books, we planted pumpkin seeds, we scheduled a visit to the clinic, we took the cat to the clinic for moral support (just in the car; she wasn't invited inside), and guess what? He has strep. One point for shutting out the noise and trusting my child and myself.

This is a small but significant milestone. C didn't want to take the medicine, he didn't want to go to the clinic, he didn't want to get his throat swabbed. But he did all of those things without hitting or throwing or biting or running away or even yelling. I did not have to carry him, I did not cry, my anxiety barely even registered. He explained his own symptoms to the PA, asked her pertinent questions, voluntarily opened his mouth for the swab, and thanked her afterward for the lollipop. I am so so so proud.

Because I am not in crisis mode, it is easier to be grateful. I'm grateful that I could make a same-day appointment to see a medical professional. I'm grateful I could drive C there, in my own car. I'm grateful I have health insurance (however crappy, and it is crappy). I'm grateful I have secondary insurance for C, because one of my brilliant friends helped him obtain the state-sponsored coverage that's available for children with disabilities. I'm grateful we could drive to the pharmacy and, in under an hour, have antibiotics. There are huge, glaring problems in the American healthcare system, but I also know how lucky we are to live here in many ways.