A practice in goodbyes

I think

Parenting,

done right,

is just a practice in

saying goodbye.

Goodbye, my love.

Go out

into this fathomless world

where I can't grasp your tiny hand.

Go out and be vulnerable.

Be brave.

Be beautiful and silly.

It breaks my heart,

every single time.

Goodbye, my love.

Swing the baseball bat,

Recite your lines,

Hug your friends,

Howl when you scrape your knee.

I need to be on the sidelines.

You are the star.

You need to be messy;

I need to let you.

I leash myself,

But my heart escapes

And goes with you,

Like the memory of a melody.

And when you return to me,

Voluntarily,

With your Big Love,

It's more than I ever could have imagined.

Look, Mama, I invited my friends to your birthday;

you should get a pinata.

Mom, this daisy is for you.

It hurts, this Big Love.

It's more than I'm able to handle.

But I want it anyway.